Close relationships for living beings – are born, grow, develop, experience painful crises, illness and recovery, or it may die. All studies suggest that there is something very important, which makes a marriage healthy. We can not say that in a healthy marriage people do not quarrel – all couples quarrel at times; or that you have to be like to your partner – across the board there is a difference between the spouses. The most important component of a healthy marriage – emotional responsiveness.
Think of your beloved and the most important person, imagine what he looks like, what he wear, what he doing. Three full inhalation and exhalation will help to focus on inner feelings. Now, holding the attention on the relationship with that person, ask yourself: “Can I count on you? If I need to and call will you come?? If need and call will you coming? Am I in your first place alawys? ”
You can feel an immediate response in the middle of the chest, in the solar plexus, stomach, throat, in the legs – the first reaction is a solid response, which has drawn up as “undeniable yes” or “I doubt it”, or “likely , no”.”Yes,” corresponds to the secure bond and gives a sense of calm and confidence in relations. You may feel a “yes” in the body, such as warmth in the breast. “Doubt” and closer to “no” respond with anxiety, depression, or lack of feelings and relationships are experienced as if they have a crack – it displays unreliable bond. If you have the feeling of reliable proximity, you can handle almost everything.That’s what a happy marriage is. It makes you more confident, more successful in the work, you better cope with stress, even your health becomes better. Conversely, if between of you insecure bond, you are in emotional isolation, you have twice as much chance of suffering from a heart attack or stroke. In general, people who have no reliable emotional ties, more often get sick and die sooner.
Secure bond is sometimes called a rubber, emphasizing the flexibility and stability of the relationship in a couple. This connection gives us the opportunity to be the closer, the more it gives the opportunity to be together and to be different, it is like dancing with a series of close embrace and opening hand. In such a relationship, you can breathe. In such a relationship you are not alone. Such relationships are stable enough – they can withstand the stresses associated with the appearance of children, change of work, travel and other life changes. Such relations are experienced as a great value. You want to stay in such relations, and want to take care of them. Taking care of such a relationship becomes something natural, meaningful and fulfilling.