Well, in this blog we will not talk about sex. Lets be little more creative!
Let us think what do your husband need to feel happy and satisfied, and can you satisfy his needs just in 5 minutes?
Say you’re doing this for profit or just for him to be happy with you?
The ambiguous question, right?
Indeed, on the one hand, you are, of course, love your husband and wish best to him. And on the other – surrounding his life with love and comfort, you expecting some response from him. Well, at least, a hot coffee in bed. And as a maximum – a nice gold necklace and a family holiday at the Maldives.
From the point of view of psychology, you are absolutely right! The theory of altruistic selfishness developed by Canadian Hans Selye. According to her, the living entity (not just people!) meets the needs of other living beings just because waiting for a reciprocal step.
Referring to another psychologist – American Abraham Maslow. He developed the so-called pyramid of needs, satisfaction of which every normal person needs. Question: Is it possible to satisfy your husband’s needs in record time requirements?
It all depends on needs…
The need for security and stability
For your husband really important to know he have the rear at the house, where devoted wife waiting for him. Where everything goes on as usual and there are no surprises.
What to do?
Create some rituals to be observed strictly. For example, always come home promptly at 19:00. Or every night before going to bed tell him what you have planned to do the next day. Or every morning before he leaves to work, kiss him on the cheek. It would seem, what a trifle, but it is these little things give a sense of stability in their lives. If the husband with jealous eyes watching, how delighted you look at a photo of Johnny Depp, calmly say: “He is certainly handsome, but I can not imagine I could love someone else than you.”
The need to feel part of a group
For husband is really important that his opinion were considered, that he was involved in family life. Yes, we are now like to say that modern men have charged a solution of domestic problems on fragile female shoulders. But maybe this is our fault?
What to do?
Consult with your husband on all domestic matters and issues relating to the upbringing of a child. “Honey, what do you think, is it worth to enroll our son to the sports section?” “What do you think, dear, should we change the wallpaper?” Even if you know his answer in advance, even if you know perfectly that you will make it in your own way – still pronounce these words!
The need for recognition of merits
For some reason, we often take for granted, that the husband earns well and knows how to fix a tap. Yes, no one offers to sing the praises just because a man behaves like a man. But why not announce his merits? Just say out loud that you see them.
What to do?
Do not fill up with compliments accomplished with fake smile. Just state the fact: “I would not be able to speak to plumber as sharply as you did”, “The shelf hanging wonderfully, and even does not fall”, “Once the boss called you for the meeting – it means that he respects you!”, etc.
The need for self-actualization
Nowadays this aspect suffering more and more often. Because the task of the man – be a leader and earner. And what did he earner if the salary of his wife twice bigger and she decides when to buy a car for you?
What to do?
Allow him to be at least nominally the head of the family. The feeling of self-worth and realisation as a husband, as a father – that’s what really satisfies him. Charge husband to check the child’s diary. Let him choose the team that will make the repairs in your apartment. Looking at his baby pictures, pricked, “Look, our Alyosha eyes are the same as yours. And the whirlwind are the same as you had in childhood … ”
All above is easy to do and not requiers much time. Just try it out to see positive changes in your family life!