Starting relationship with a man, we immediately decide how close we are willing to let him into our heart. What do you prefer: the freedom of the senses or a love relationship?
It is believed that the dependence, excessive attachment – it’s bad.
But better than the constant distance, waiting for a dirty trick, and betrayal, and therefore ready for a break right here and now?
Both conditions are painful and devastating – both for the individual and for the relationship. Is it possible to find a happy medium?
Status when live can not be without him, we can not – and that’s it! Neither the psychological nor a worldly point of view, it’s impossible. Dependence begins when we are fully immersed in the life of our partner, dismissing our own “I”. Ask yourself, “Who am I?” If your answer options: “A loving and beloved wife”, “ideal lover”, “wonderful mother,” you certainly have become dependent on relationships.
At the other extreme, however, too dangerous. Perhaps you’ve already experienced the pain of loss, or watched it from the side and so impressed that gave a vow to yourself: “I will never be a slave to own feeling!”
You did it, but still feelings can not command. The more you try to distance from a loved one, the harder it is to build relationships.
Where is the happy medium?
From the point of view of psychology, both settings are wrong precisely because they are premature. You negotiate with them to be free or dependent advance, sometimes even before you meet a future partner.
What to do not to go to extremes? First of all, understand that any relationship – is not only joy but also sadness, not only the purchase but also losses.Try to keep track of your feelings for the man in the “here and now”. Learn to express your feelings and emotions, to understand them and to tell about them to your man.